Of 'Self-Esteem' and What Makes Me Feeble

As with many people, my most disagreeable and by far the most refractory demerit consists in the perpetual postponement of important business; indeed, the more urgent and pressing the affair is, the more disinclined I feel to set down to it and have it completed. This bad habit, for habit it is, is aggravated, moreover, by the fact that, given to introspection and therefore continuously back-analysing whatever I have done or meditated, I sense the oppressive incubus of that immense dead store of business but too poignantly, seeking in vain to eschew the relentless call of duty by occupying myself with some petty task. But do these blood-thirsty Erinyes of a repressed sense of duty ever give me respite? No! Like angry wasps, they throng my mind, dispossess me of my good spirits, pluck at my nerves with their hideous ensanguined digits, tether my freedom - and generally put every effort into subverting the foundations of my spiritual balance.

Even while I write this, I am conscious of my laughable attempt to break away from what I ought to be doing here and now. Oh, weak is man in truth, for he cannot vanquish his own shortcomings! And shall we speak about vying against external evil?..